Fighting the Good Fight
by Vyctori
Summary: One fresh fall day, the Sohmas find an injured girl outside of Shigure's house. Then they find another...and another...and another.... It's pretty clear what these strange girls want, but who are they, anyway?
1. The Invasion Begins

Fighting the Good Fight

_Vyctori_

A/N: Even though I haven't previously posted a fic for _Fruits Basket_, I've been an observer of the fandom for quite some time. After noticing certain trends, I decided to write a story about said trends. I'm quite sure my observations aren't going to make some readers very happy, but I'm perfectly fine with that. I wrote the fic for my own amusement, and I decided to share it for the heck of it.

In writing this, however, I drew material from the stories of others. Please don't be offended if you find certain correlations between your writing and my story—I am in no way being negative towards you personally, although I may be poking fun at your ideas.

**Disclaimer:** Clearly, I do not own the rights to _Fruits Basket_.

**Warnings:** Parody, and lots of it. Also, once again, if you see something that echoes an idea of yours, it was likely because I used your fic for inspiration. Be offended if you like, but be responsible about it.

With that being said, enjoy the fic!

-O-O-O-O-O-O-

Tohru hummed to herself as she pinned up the laundry on the clothesline. It was a lovely, fresh fall weekend. The morning seemed to be like all others at Shigure's house—peaceful until the other three members of the household awoke. Then things got . . . chaotic.

Smiling, Tohru reached down into the laundry basket to pick up another piece of clothing. However, she froze, hand in the basket, when she heard a soft groan.

"What?" Tohru looked around for its source.

She started to walk about the property, listening for the moans emitted from . . . somewhere. Soon she discovered a girl lying on the path leading to the house, covered in blood.

Tohru let out an involuntary cry, turned, and ran back into the house. "Yuki, Kyo, help! There's a girl outside, and she's bleeding a lot!"

Yuki raced down the stairs to meet her. "Miss Honda, is that true?"

"I-it is! Come quick! She might be dying!" Tohru turned and sprinted back outside, Yuki and Kyo—who had just finished breakfast—following on her heels.

"See, look!" Tohru pointed when they reached the appropriate spot.

Strangely enough, the golden-haired girl—_not_ blond, Tohru thought for some reason—seemed to have less blood around her than she remembered. However, perhaps it had just been her imagination playing tricks on her. . . .

Carefully, Kyo and Yuki lifted the girl, with one at the head and the other at the feet. Then, Tohru fretting at their side every step of the way, the two boys carried the girl into the house.

"What's this?" Shigure poked his head out of his study, hearing them enter. "Kyo, you didn't try to beat someone up again, did you?"

"Shut up. We just found her, okay?"

Carefully, Kyo and Yuki lowered the girl to the floor, taking care not to make any sudden movements in case they might aggravate her wounds.

Tohru turned to go upstairs. "I'll go get some bandages! And hot water! And cloths! And—" She stopped when Yuki caught her arm. "Yuki?"

"Wait, Miss Honda." Yuki released Tohru and instead stared at the girl. "For some reason . . . it looks like her wounds are almost completely healed."

"What the—" Kyo cursed. "What's going on?"

Without warning, the blond-haired—no, _golden_, Tohru thought again though she still wasn't sure why—girl jumped to her feet. "_Kyo-kun_!"

"What the—" Kyo repeated. "Hey you, what are you _doing_?"

The girl clasped her hands together and took three large steps towards Kyo. Kyo took three large steps backwards.

"I'm Siteku. Thank you so much for saving my life! My heart is yours, brave Kyo-kun!"

"Um, but. . . ." Tohru looked at Siteku. "Your wounds . . . healed themselves."

"No, it was the power of Kyo-kun's love that healed them! But—" The girl's face fell. "—I'm too injured to go anywhere. You're going to have to take me in."

"Now wait just a minute!" Kyo was getting angry. "First you say you're healed by my so-called love and now you're too injured to go anywhere? I say you're well enough to go somewhere, and that's out the door!"

"But—" Tohru and Siteku said simultaneously.

"_No buts_! I want her out!" Kyo fumed. "She's obviously not hurt and all she's doing is wasting our time! And what kind of a stupid name is Siteku, anyway?"

Siteku looked indignant. "It's _Japanese_!"

"No, it's not! Now get out! _Now_!" Kyo pointed at the door.

Sulkily, Siteku walked out. "You haven't seen the last of me!"

In response, Kyo slammed the door in her face and then leaned against the wall. "What a nutcase."

"In any case, if she returns, all we need to do is call in Kagura." Yuki smirked. "She ought to sort things out nicely."

Kyo swore again. "Yeah, by killing her first and then coming after _me_!"

"Um," Tohru interrupted. "I'm going out to finish hanging out the laundry, okay?" On one hand, she felt rather badly for Siteku and wondered if they should have let her stay. On the other hand, she _did_ seem to be perfectly fine. . . .

"All right, Miss Honda." Yuki smiled at her. "And then afterwards, why don't we go work on the secret base?"

"Sure!" Tohru beamed and then walked outside to finish her work.

------------

Kyo was in the upstairs bathroom brushing his teeth when he heard Tohru scream once more. Cursing around a mouthful of suds, Kyo ran out of the bathroom and down the stairs. Bursting out of the house, he found Tohru pointing at some bushes, eyes wide.

"Wsrh goen—" Kyo removed his toothbrush and spat into another bush. "What's going on?"

"L-look!" she stammered.

Kyo looked closer . . . and then inwardly groaned. A pair of legs was sticking out of the bushes, one twisted at an odd angle.

"Here." He handed his toothbrush to Tohru and pushed the branches aside.

There lay a lovely silver-haired girl, unconscious. Kyo clapped his hand to his forehead in disgust. "Not _another_ one."

Tohru peered over his shoulder. "At least she doesn't seem to be bleeding. . . ."

"Yet," Kyo muttered.

Grabbing the girl by both ankles, he hauled her backwards out of the bushes. Being so manhandled managed to awaken her from her swoon, and soon angry violet eyes fixed themselves on Kyo's face. However, the girl quickly composed her face into a calm expression.

"Where is . . . the Prince?" she asked in a soft voice.

"What, you mean that rat?" Kyo frowned. "He's in the house. Why do you wanna see _him_?"

"It was . . . foretold," the girl said in the same breathy voice. "I am Destyni. And it is my fate that Yuki and I would be lovers."

"_What_?" Tohru stared. "L-lovers?"

"Yes, that's right." In one fluid movement, Destyni rose, despite the fact that her ankle had been twisted at the very least—or even broken. "I _must_ see him. The fate of the world depends on it."

"Really?" Tohru's eyes grew larger, if such a thing were possible.

"I don't think so." Kyo snorted. "You don't happen to be related to some girl, Siteku, do you?"

"No . . . not . . . really." Her violet eyes were distant.

"Geez." Kyo ran a hand through his hair. "Tohru, go find him, okay? Tell him that this _thing_ wants to see him. I'm going inside."

"Right!" Tohru nodded and then ran off.

Kyo turned to walk into the house, but Destyni caught his arm. "Wait. Aren't you going to tend to my injuries?"

"_No,_ I am _not_! You're not even injured, you idiot!" Breaking free, Kyo ran into the house and slammed the door again. He leaned against the wall for the second time that morning, trying to recover.

"Kyo? Is that you?" Shigure called out from his study. "Could you come help me remove something?"

Grumbling under his breath, Kyo stomped into the room. "What do you . . . want. . . ."

Another girl was latched onto Shigure, only for some reason Shigure was still in his human form. This one had long, straight black hair that fell to her ankles and a death grip on Shigure's neck. She also had backed him into a corner of the room, a fact that would have made Kyo laugh, had it not been such an aggravating morning.

"Kyo . . . ?" Shigure asked in his most winning voice. "Be a good boy and help me get rid of it?"

Kyo sighed. "_Fine_. Whatever."

He walked over and circled his arms around the girl's waist and started tugging hard. Shigure leaned backwards into the corner once again.

"Shigure, how could you be so cruel?" she wailed. "You said you'd love me forever! Remember all that we shared? Those cold nights made warm by your presence?"

Kyo stopped pulling for a second. "You sick—"

Shigure held up his hands . . . or rather, tried to. The girl's face was in the way and all he accomplished was hitting her on the chin. "It's not like that at all, Kyo! She just, well, turned up. Then she tried to hug me, but for some reason nothing happened."

Kyo wasn't sure whether to believe the writer or not. Deciding to ask him about it after he had finished the job at hand, he settled on trying to dislodge the girl. Eventually, between the two of them, they did, and soon the girl was sent flying out the door.

"I'll never forget youuuu . . . !" was the last they heard her cry.

Kyo folded his arms. "So, what _was_ she doing here? And what's her name, anyway?"

"The answer is 'I have no idea' to both your questions." Shigure flipped an ink brush in his hand. "I already told you what happened. I could say the same to you, Kyo, about that girl from earlier." He smiled slyly and fingered his chin. "So, Kyo . . . becoming a real ladies' man, are we? First Kagura and now—"

"Shut _up_!" Kyo jammed his hands into his pockets and stomped off to the rooftop, disgusted.

-----------

Later that day, while Yuki and Tohru were out shopping and Kyo was brooding on the roof, Shigure was hard at work in his study . . . hard at work reading the newspaper, that is. From time to time, he would wonder about the three girls from earlier that morning, but being the laid-back person he was, decided not to worry about what was over and done with.

Over the rustle of the newspaper as he turned the page, Shigure heard a knock on the door. Instinctively rising to answer it, he checked in mid-step and decided against admitting any more visitors that day.

However, the person at the door obviously was impatient and soon he heard the door slide open. Luckily for him, it wasn't another one of the girls, but. . . .

"Shigure!" Momiji practically leapt into the room. "Hi! Where are Tohru and the others?"

"Oh, Momiji," Shigure said in faint relief. "Yuki and Tohru are out shopping. Kyo's on the roof. Any particular reason for visiting?"

"No reason—but you'll never guess what happened along the way!" Momiji danced on the spot. "Guess, guess!"

Shigure fingered his chin again. "Call it a wild hunch but . . . on your way here, you found a girl who appeared to be injured, but when you tried to help her, she turned out to be completely fine, and she declared her love for you?"

Momiji grinned. "Nope!"

"Oh." Shigure looked surprised. "So . . . what did happen, then?"

"On my way here, I found a girl who appeared to be injured, but when I tried to help her, she turned out to be completely fine, and she declared her love for _Ha'ri_!"

Shigure's hand transferred itself from his chin to his face. "Momiji . . . !"

Hatori walked into the room. "It sounds like you've been having similar problems, Shigure."

"You might say that. Hello, Ha'ri." Shigure smiled at his friend.

Another knock at the door interrupted before anyone else could speak. The three froze, but relaxed when a familiar wail rent the air: "_Shi-gu-re_!"

"Oh, there's Mii." Shigure grinned.

"You are going to let her in." The way Hatori said it, it wasn't a question.

"Why, certainly! What kind of a person do you think I am?" Shigure pretended to be wounded.

Hatori was unimpressed. "I already _know_ what kind of person you are."

But once again, Shigure didn't even make it to the door before yet another guest walked into the room. He could almost see Mii's stress level spike upon seeing him.

Obviously panicking, Mii took hold of his shoulders. "_Shigure_! Why are you not _writing_? Answer me!" She shook him once for punctuation.

Shigure gently detached her hands and instead lifted his eyes to the ceiling. "It seems today is the day destined for guests who knock but don't wait for their host to answer the door." He sighed. "Woe."

Distracted from her desperation, Mii looked at Shigure strangely. "But I was let in. Your new maid answered the door."

This caught Shigure off guard and earned him a frown from Hatori.

"Maid? Tohru's not really a maid, and anyway, she's out shopping with Yuki," Shigure said.

"No, I'm talking about the high school girl in the French maid's uniform, not the other one." Mii pointed towards the living room. "She's dusting in there, I believe."

Shigure's eyes gleamed, but before he could take more than a step, Hatori's firm hand clamped onto his shoulder.

"I'll come with you, Shigure," was all the doctor said.

"Oh, Ha'ri! You don't trust me at all, do you?" Shigure came dangerously close to whining.

"In most things, yes, I do trust you. Just not this."

The two walked into the living room, trailed by a curious Momiji and a frazzled Mii. There they saw another blond-haired girl dusting the room in quite likely the most inefficient manner possible.

Upon hearing them enter, she spun on her heel and dropped the feather duster to the ground. "Shigure-san! Daijoubu ka?"

Shigure blinked. "What did she say?" he asked Hatori. "Some foreign language, like English?"

"I'm . . . not sure." Hatori sounded surprisingly uncertain. "It sounded like it might be Japanese, but badly mangled."

"Wai, Shigure-san! You're teasing me, aren't you? So kawaii, hai hai!" The girl's green eyes sparkled.

Momiji walked up to her. "Hi there! I'm Momiji Sohma! What's your name?"

The girl ignored him completely. "Shigure-san! I hope I'm doing a kawaii job! I'm so glad Tohru told you about me needing money since okaasan and otousan were korosued and that you decided to hire me and I'm gonna do my best and make you all so proud, sou da!"

Mii just looked at her. "If she put something like that in a manuscript, I'd definitely add a few commas and a full stop somewhere in that mess."

"Anyway, when are you gonna kiss me, huh? Huh, Shigure-koi? I'm waiting, da yo!" She turned her face up to his.

Shigure sighed. As tempting as it was to be offered a kiss by a young, nubile high school girl in a French maid's outfit, she had been rude to Momiji and had entered his home under false pretences. And it was looking like she was one of _those_ girls. Besides, what would he do with a maid if he only understood half of what came out of her mouth?

"Look, I'm sorry, but I think you had better leave." Gripping her gently but firmly by the shoulders, Shigure began to steer her towards the door. "I already have someone to clean my house, and that's Tohru. And although that outfit really is delightful" —this comment earned him a disapproving glare from Hatori— "I'm afraid your services really aren't needed. Sorry."

Carefully pushing the girl outside, Shigure met up with Yuki and Tohru, who were just returning from their shopping.

_"Another_ one?" Yuki asked in disbelief.

"I'm afraid so." Shigure sighed sadly and shut the door in the girl's pout-filled face.

"Why was she wearing that outfit?" Yuki was suspicious.

Half-listening to Momiji as the boy related the news of his discovery to Tohru, Shigure responded, "Really, Yuki, you're so untrusting. I had nothing to do with the girl's admittedly charming choice of attire—nothing at all!"

Yuki gave him a look. " . . . You're disgusting."

Hatori said nothing, but looked as if he agreed with the younger Sohma. Instead, he simply sighed and lit a cigarette.

"I'm going to go put away the groceries, all right?" Yuki walked towards the kitchen.

"Oh, let me help!" Tohru ran to catch up, breaking off her conversation with Momiji.

Yuki smiled at her. "That's all right, Miss Honda. Really. You talk to Momiji; I'll join in a few moments."

"Well . . . okay. If you're sure." Even the way she stood gave off uncertainty.

"Perfectly." Yuki went into the kitchen and set the bags down on the floor.

As he put away the groceries, he thought about the day's events. Who were those strange girls that kept showing up? And more importantly, what did they want, and where did they come from?

He grimaced. Actually, it was pretty obvious what they wanted. But why did they keep gravitating towards Shigure's house? It wasn't anything special. It was a fairly out-of-the-way place. Yet the girls seemed able to home into it with an uncanny precision.

And they all had such strange stories! Yuki set a carton of milk on the top rack of the fridge. The one that had accosted him at the secret base was full of some nonsense about being his destined love.

Shaking his head, Yuki stored the plastic bags under the sink for them to be reused. If they were fortunate, this would be a one-day only event, and perhaps tomorrow he, Tohru, Shigure, and Kyo could get back to their somewhat ordinary lives.


	2. And Continues at School

A/N: Well, I hadn't been planning on updating this right away—I had another one-shot lined up to update—but after seeing some of the fics that were posted recently, I thought this was kind of . . . needed. Ahem.

The reviewers. . . .

Flamethrowerqueen: Thanks a lot! I really, really had a lot of fun writing it. Good luck on venturing into the section—I've only managed to read summaries for the most part.

As for fic recommendations, I'd say anything by Empress Dotdotdot would be excellent reading. She's very under-appreciated in the fandom. I also enjoyed "Predilection," by D-chan. It was a lovely piece of Kyo/Tohru fluff, but pulled off very well. . . . And you know, those are all the fics I've read and enjoyed in this fandom. I think I could do with some recommendations, myself. . . . When (hopefully not if) I get around to e-mailing you (sorry, I'm terrible at correspondence), we really should discuss this sometime.

Jennalyn: Nice to see that you knew exactly what kind of "special" girls I was targeting. ::grins:: And I'm glad you like my writing style; I'm something of a grammar Nazi (and you spelled "grammar" right—major kudos to you!), so I wouldn't be able to tolerate errors. After this admission, watch me make a bunch of glaring ones. Heh.

RedLady: Indeed they will be tormented. But at least we can laugh about it (hopefully).

-------

Thanks for reviewing!

This, the second chapter, is actually the second-last chapter. It's very short, but I didn't have the time (or inspiration, for that matter) to write anything longer. So I hope you'll enjoy Overused Sue Plot Idea Number Two: the transfer student from America!

Oh, and on a final note, I am aware of the Akito spoiler, but because this is written from the points of view of people who don't know it yet, I'm going to be referring to Akito incorrectly. Just so you know!

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

The family's wish for peace was not to be. All through the remainder of Saturday the four were inundated with a plague of girls. They came from all walks of life, yet every one of them had several things in common—they were all young, pretty or beautiful, had injuries that were very rapidly ignored, and were interested in starting a romance with one of the men.

With the dawning of Sunday came a new variable to the problem. Although the girls followed the same pattern as before, this time, they all seemed to be related to Tohru, Hana, or Uo. Cousins, sisters both young and old, even one or two youngish aunts . . . it didn't matter to the Sohmas and Tohru. It was a nuisance no matter what the girls' stories were.

Another problem was what to call them besides "the girls." Between getting rid of one girl and discovering the next, Shigure somehow settled on the name "Mary-Sue," since a good number of them seemed to come from America and it seemed to him to be a proper American name. At first the others thought his idea rather silly, but regardless, the name stuck.

On Monday, after putting out the first Mary-Sue of the morning—Uo's "sister," come to visit Yuki—Kyo sighed.

"School's almost gonna be a relief today," he commented, scowling. "At least we'll be able to get away from these stupid Mary-Sues!"

"I must admit, this is a most trying situation." Yuki sighed and slipped on his shoes at the door.

Tohru slid the door open. "I don't know. They seem rather nice to me, although a little, um, single-minded."

Kyo stared at her. "How can you say that? They ignore you constantly!"

"Um, well, when they _do_ talk to me, they seem fine to me." Tohru smiled. "And besides, maybe if we're nice to them, they'll tell us where they're coming from."

Kyo snorted. "Yeah, go ahead and be nice. I'll just keep shoving them out the door."

Yuki said nothing, but frowned slightly. A good number of the Mary-Sues that went after him tended to say rather nasty things about Miss Honda, in the hopes that it would increase their worth in his eyes. To be truthful, it had the exact opposite effect, and he tended to get rid of those Sues even faster than the usual ones.

Arriving at school, they dropped off their extra gear in their lockers before hurrying to class. Because they were a little later than usual due to a last-minute Mary-Sue disposal, the three didn't have time to talk to their friends beforehand and barely had time to sit down before their teacher walked into the room.

"All right, all, settle," he said. "We have a lot of work to do today, so—"

A knock on the door interrupted him. It opened, and in stepped a girl with, once again, blond hair and emerald eyes.

"Um, I'm Caitlin," she said. "I'm an exchange student from America, and I was told this was the class I was supposed to be in."

Her eyes locked onto Yuki's. The prince came dangerously close to gulping.

"I don't recall being informed of this. . . ." The teacher shrugged. "Well, find a seat and welcome to the class. I'll work on the administrative business after school."

The girl smiled triumphantly. Grabbing an empty desk from halfway across the room, she planted it firmly next to Yuki—as close as she possibly could. Yuki leaned back and tried not to groan.

"_Another_ Sue." Kyo smirked. "Have fun with it."

However, before he could continue making fun of Yuki, the door to the class opened again.

"Who are you?" the teacher asked, confused.

"I'm Tiffani," she said, tossing her long black hair. "I'm a transfer student from America."

"You too?" The teacher looked bewildered; the Sohmas and Tohru merely looked resigned. "Er, well, you find a seat, too, I guess."

Grabbing hold of the desk by the door, Tiffani lugged it all the way to where Kyo was sitting and settled herself right next to him. Tohru could almost see Kyo's hair stand on end as Tiffani scooted close to him and smiled dangerously.

"Strange," Hana said. "Those two girls . . . their electric signals are odd."

"Two girls from America in one day." Uo folded her arms. "What are the chances?"

"Getting better all the time," Kyo managed as another girl walked in the door.

"Hi, I'm a transfer student from America. My name's Lorelei."

Tohru noted that for some reason, Lorelei's skirt was considerably shorter than what the other girls wore.

"How many more of you _are_ there?" the teacher asked in desperation.

"What do you mean?" Lorelei's sea-crystal-blue eyes narrowed. "I'm an original."

"Um, right." He didn't look like he wanted to argue. "Well . . . find a seat wherever you can. We're out of desks at the moment."

"Right." Lorelei smiled in a sickeningly sweet way and sat on the corner of Yuki's desk. "Hi, Prince Yuki."

Help, Yuki thought.

--------------------

All through the morning, more and more girls walked through the door. When three showed up simultaneously, Tohru's teacher nearly cried. As it was, he was approaching a nervous breakdown by the time lunch came.

"So what's up with all these girls?" Uo asked, seated on the school's roof.

The Mary-Sues had tried to follow the group onto the roof, but after having Kyo threaten to push them off, they decided to worship at a distance.

"You got me." Haru shrugged. "They keep on showing up wherever I go."

"We're not really sure where they come from and we don't trust what they've told us," Yuki said. "Shigure calls them 'Mary-Sues' since a lot of them seem to be from America and it seemed like a good American name to him."

"Um, they certainly are persistent, aren't they?" Tohru looked down at the crowd of Sues rather dubiously from their rooftop sanctuary.

"I'll say," Uo agreed.

"Their electric waves are most unpleasant . . . jarring, almost," Hana commented. "I do not like to think about the adverse effect they would have on Tohru. I shall have to take steps to rectify this."

Kyo looked rather creeped out. "What kind of steps?"

Hana simply looked at him.

"Hey everyone, look at this!" Momiji called from where he was peering over the roof's edge. "It looks like that weird girl who likes Yuki so much is going to take on those Mary-Sue things!"

"Which girl is that?" Uo asked. "That description fits most of the girls in the school."

"Motoko Something-or-other. You know." Momiji waved an arm at them, impatient. "Come look!"

"Motoko Minegawa?" Hana nodded once, slowly. "Yes. I remember her. As does Megumi."

Despite the fact that they were a couple floors up, the group could still easily hear Motoko.

"You're not all chasing after Prince Yuki, are you?" Motoko stared the group of Sues down.

A girl with seemingly natural blue hair stepped forward out of the crowd. "And if we are?"

"I'm Motoko Minegawa, president of the Prince Yuki Fanclub, and I'm here to tell you right now that you're breaking all the rules concerning the prince." She thrust her finger forward aggressively. "On behalf of the fanclub, I'm asking—no, _demanding_—that you back off now and follow correct procedure."

Some Sues wandered away, uninterested in Yuki. Those that remained simply scowled at Motoko.

"I don't think so," the blue-haired girl said. "Besides, we're special and you're not. What makes you think Prince Yuki would take an interest in you when there's someone like me around?" She flicked her long blue hair to drive the point home.

Motoko gaped at them angrily as the group of girls began to preen, each showing off her specialness.

"You're just jealous of our abilities and backgrounds," the same girl continued. "And you'll keep on being jealous when I claim Yuki for myself."

The other Mary-Sue girls started to babble in disagreement at her words, each claiming she would be the one to win the prince's heart. However, Motoko's voice cut through the noise.

"If that's the way things are going to be, then fine." Motoko folded her arms across her chest. "You've just earned the eternal enmity of the Prince Yuki Fanclub. You've made your bed and you're going to have to lie in it."

"Only if the prince is in it, too!" one Sue-girl called out from the crowd.

Motoko fixed them all with a furious glare before spinning precisely on her heel and walking away, back rigid.

"Whoa," Uo commented, still watching from the roof. "Looks like those girls are in for it now. Insulting the Prince Yuki Fanclub . . . I wouldn't want to be in their shoes."

"It looks like it is going to be a rather interesting afternoon," Haru said, stepping away from the edge of the roof.

Yuki looked uncomfortable with the attention, but said, "At least it looks like I'm going to have some bodyguards now."

"Some very effective ones, too." Kyo shuddered slightly. "Man, those girls are _scary_."

"Which group of girls?" Tohru asked.

"Both!" he answered with feeling as the warning bell, signalling the end of the lunch period, sounded.

The group picked up their gear and climbed down from the roof. The group of Mary-Sues, having a short attention span, had already wandered away, and so they were able to walk to class relatively unmolested.

-------------

Hatsuharu was right. Class was considerably more interesting now that two of the school's factions had declared war on one another. Their teacher remained oblivious to the reasons for the current warfare in his class, though he certainly wasn't unaware of the pranks that the girls played on one another. His teachings began to sound somewhat like the following:

"And then in 1892, the—Keiko, untie Cryzalys' braids from her chair right now! And stay after class to clean up the room. . . . Anyway, as I was saying, in 1892—Zachini, don't try to tell me you spilled that ink on Makiko by accident! I saw you aim that leaky pen at her! You're going to have to help Keiko clean the class _and_ buy Makiko a new blouse. Why don't you go get cleaned up, Makiko? . . . Let me try again. In 1982—"

"That's 1892," Kyo said, leaning away from one of his admirers.

Their teacher put his head in his hands and didn't speak for quite some time. Then, with a huge sigh, he looked up and began again. "In 1892. . . ."

Uo chuckled as she watched a Prince Yuki Fanclub girl casually stick out her leg as a Mary-Sue walked by on the way to the toilets. Only her unnatural balance saved the silver-haired girl from falling flat on her face, though it was a near thing.

"This is _hilarious_." Uo was still grinning. "I haven't enjoyed a class this much in years."

Yuki seemed uncomfortable. "It's rather frightening, though."

Kyo used his textbook to shield Tohru from an errant spitball. "I'd rather not be sitting in a war zone, thanks all the same." He cursed as another spitball hit him on the ear. "Geez, who's shooting those things? Their aim sucks."

"I suppose shooting spitballs isn't a skill most of those things cultivate," Yuki said.

"Er, our teacher is looking at us; we probably should stop talking." Tohru blushed and faced the front of the class again.

For the rest of the afternoon, the friends tried to take in whatever lesson their teacher was attempting to give. However, despite his valiant efforts, the ongoing war between the Mary-Sues—who were ever-increasing in number—and the Prince Yuki fanclub—who were ever-increasing in determination—managed to take up most of the afternoon.

It was with great relief that Tohru's teacher ended the class that day, and it was with equal relief that the group filed out of the class.

Another dilemma popped up, though, when Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru walked out of the school.

"Argh, those freaky girls are following us!" Kyo hunched his shoulders.

"Oh dear." Tohru nervously looked at their stalkers.

Yuki halted. "This could be a bit of a problem. Hmm." He thought for a moment, and then raised his voice. "I can't wait to go to that new snack place. I've been anticipating it all day and I'm so hungry. Aren't you, Tohru?"

"Huh?" Tohru looked at him, puzzled.

Kyo caught on. "Yeah, I hear they have some of the best food in the city."

"But Kyo . . . Yuki . . . we don't have any money."

"I brought some," Kyo and Yuki chorused quickly.

"Oh, well . . . okay, then. I'll just pay you back later, all right?" Tohru smiled.

"It's pretty small, though," Yuki said. "So we had better hurry to make sure we get seats."

Behind them, frantic whispering could be heard as the Mary-Sue group tried to decide which new restaurant the three were talking about. Suddenly, they all bolted in wildly varying directions, each one wanting to grab a seat in the restaurant so they wouldn't be left out in the cold.

Kyo and Yuki simply waited for the last of the "transfer students" to clear out before casually beginning to walk in the direction of Shigure's house. Tohru looked confused, and jogged to catch up.

"Um, weren't we going to that restaurant?" she asked.

Yuki shook his head. "No. That was just a ruse to get them to leave us alone."

"Oh . . . but, that wasn't very nice." She seemed rather upset.

"Yeah, well, the stupid things deserve it," Kyo grumbled. "They're just lucky I'm too worn out from putting them out all weekend or I would've done a lot more than send them on a wild goose chase!"

"Yes, but. . . ." Tohru sighed. It seemed that they were doing a lot of nasty things lately, and she felt badly about it. She kept imagining what it would be like to be one of those girls, and how disappointed they always were when Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure kept getting rid of them. It made her rather . . . uncomfortable. But then again, those girls _were_ pretty scary. . . .

Arriving home, the three discovered only a lone male sitting outside the door, obviously waiting for them. He actually seemed fairly normal. For one thing, he wasn't a girl, which was unusual right there. For another, he looked pretty regular—maybe a touch more good-looking than the average people of the town, but nothing spectacular.

But their hopes were dashed when he elegantly rose to his feet and opened his mouth.

"Greetings, Tohru. I've been waiting for you for quite some time now." He stepped closer to her.

"For . . . me?" Tohru seemed surprised. After being ignored for so long, it was a real change to be spoken to for once.

Behind her, Yuki and Kyo traded displeased looks. The new boy ignored them and instead favoured Tohru with a sparkling smile that must have taken days of brushing to be so white.

"Yes, you." He picked up one of her hands and clasped it in his large—but pleasantly so—hands. "You are a jewel . . . dazzling. I have been smitten by your beauty. Please say you will become my love—I would like that above all things."

"Uh. . . ." Tohru's eyes dropped from his face to where he was still holding her hand. "I, uh. . . ."

Kyo and Yuki nodded at one another. Then Yuki took hold of Tohru's shoulders and steered her out of the way as Kyo snapped his fisted hand straight at the boy's chin; Tohru let out a yelp of distress when fist and chin connected. Then Yuki took hold of his feet and Kyo grabbed him under his arms and the two carted him off to some nearby bushes.

Kyo dusted off his hands. "There!" He looked very satisfied.

"I suppose we could call him a Gary-Stu," Yuki said, looking at the bushes where the Gary-Stu's feet protruded. "It's an American name and it rhymes with Mary-Sue, after all."

Very loud shrieks and wails interrupted Yuki's musings. The three looked towards the house where Shigure was escorting a Mary-Sue out of the house.

"Yes, yes, I know I'm the love of your life, but really, I don't have any more room to house a transfer student from America," Shigure told her. "Try someplace in the city."

"But 'Gure-chan!" the girl wailed. "My heart beats for you and only you! I _must_ be close to you! And I can! Didn't you notice you didn't transform when I hugged you?"

Shigure raised his eyebrows. "I suggest you see a doctor—but not Hatori; he has enough problems on his hands at the moment. You seem to be hallucinating. Why on earth would I transform?"

Overcome, the girl stomped off, still bawling away. Ignoring her, Shigure looked around to make sure there were no more Sues and noticed Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo.

"Ah, there you are, everyone," he greeted them. "Hatori just called. Apparently, Akito has just called a meeting of all Zodiac members—plus the cat, too, of course," he added, noticing Kyo begin to fume.

Yuki stiffened. "I'm not going." He tried to brush past Shigure and enter the house, but Shigure dropped a hand on his shoulder to halt him.

"I'm afraid you don't have much choice." Shigure sounded sympathetic. "This _is_ an emergency, after all. All those girls seemed to have something in common—they all knew our secret. And they might blab it to others. Then who knows what the consequences would be?"

Yuki stood still for a moment, imagining. Then, without another word, he entered the house, went into his room, and shut the door.

"Poor Yuki," Tohru murmured as Kyo headed for the roof. Tohru knew that Yuki was afraid of Akito for some reason. She couldn't really understand why; Akito had seemed very pleasant when he had shown up at their high school a while ago. Yet the fact remained that Akito held something over Yuki's head. She wished she could go with him—and Kyo, who didn't seem to be precisely fond of Akito, either—but it was clear that she would only be intruding.

Sighing, Tohru went inside to start working on supper and hoped things would calm down by the next day. All those Mary-Sues were hard on everyone's nerves.


	3. But Ends at House Sohma

A/N: Well, I probably could've been a little faster in posting this chapter (it's the last, by the way), but eh. I've had quite the flow of inspiration for other projects recently, so I figured that was a little more important, considering how quickly and suddenly the darn stuff can dry up.

The reviews. . . .

Rallalon: Heh heh, thanks for the pity review. And at this point, I think the poor Sohmas are too overwhelmed with the countless Sues to try to apply logic. Poor things.

flamethrowerqueen: It seems like every third Sue (or very rarely, Stu) I run across around here is an exchange student–usually from the U.S. It gets really old, really fast.

I remember reading a good one-shot in the section recently, but I can't remember its name. ::sweatdrop:: Sorry I can't help this time. If I find it again, I'll try to remember to e-mail you the title and author.

varyluvs321: Thanks!

Sara Jaye (x2): ::grins:: I was particularly proud of that line, though unfortunately for me, someone got to the idea of using English conjugations for Japanese verbs first (in a parody I read a few months before starting this but forgot about until I recently re-read it, heh heh heh ::biiig sweatdrop::). Oh well. It's still very fangirl-Japanese-ish.

No Gary-Stu invasion, unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it). They're quite rare in the Fruits Basket fandom, so I didn't think it was worth my while to give them more than a mention.

-----

And I almost doubled my review count from last time! Let's see if I can do that again, hee hee!

Anyway, like I said before, this fic was a lot of fun to write. ::smiles:: I'm not sure whether or not I'll be writing anything else any time soon for this fandom, but you never know. Until the next time!

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

The next day after school, Tohru waved to Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure as they waded through the Sues on their way to the main house. Because she wasn't a Sohma, Tohru wasn't invited to the general meeting, and so she decided to use the time to catch up on her housework and schoolwork. She had taken the week off her work in Momiji's father's building so she could pull her grades up; they had been slipping somewhat as she was buried beneath her other work. However, she resolved to work extra-hard during her time off and so with a cheerful smile, started mopping the kitchen floor.

Neither Yuki nor Kyo, however, were feeling particularly happy as their steps took them ever closer to House Sohma. Neither wanted to go within even a kilometre of the place, but the situation with the Mary-Sues had become nearly critical and so they were forced to return.

Several times, Shigure attempted to make some cheery comment to tease the two boys out of their abysmal moods, but each time he met with silence from Yuki or abuse from Kyo and soon stopped trying altogether and sulked instead.

So the three were not in the best of moods when they discovered a large mob of girls outside of House Sohma, trying their hardest to slip in. Kyo surveyed them with a scowl. How did that Akito expect them to visit if they had to fight off massive hoards of lusty teenage girls to get there?

"Psst!"

Kyo automatically turned his head at the sound and caught sight of Momiji, who was peeking around the corner of the wall that surrounded the Sohma property. He motioned for them to come with him and very casually the three Sohmas did so.

As soon as they had rounded the corner, Momiji stopped. "Kyo, Yuki, Shigure! Ha'ri said I had to bring you in one of the side doors because of all the girls that are blocking the main entrance. So follow me!"

With comical care, Momiji tiptoed towards the side entrance he had mentioned. He entered first, followed by Shigure, then Kyo. Yuki was just going through the door himself when a high-pitched squeal rent the still air. They had been spotted.

Twisting around to look over his shoulder, Yuki saw a growing hoard of girls make a headlong dash towards him. Hurrying through, he was just in time to slide the door shut in their faces. He locked it just in time, and the hands fumbling on the other side of the door started pounding on it instead.

"Wow, that was close, Yuki!" Momiji grinned. "Good thing you're so fast! Except now we'll need to find another way in and out . . . oh well! Now let's go! We're going to be late for the meeting, and that'd make Akito mad."

Following Momiji as he hopped, skipped, and jumped his way along, the three soon arrived in Akito's preferred meeting place. Most of the other Zodiac members were already there and making quite a fair amount of noise.

"Shigure! You're here!" Ayame greeted his cousin in a swirl of fabric. "My heart has pined for you!"

"And mine has longed for you as well." Shigure smiled, turning on the charm. "If only we could be alone. . . ." He sighed dramatically.

Yuki rolled his eyes and started to walk off, only to hear his older brother exclaim, "Dear Yuki! It's been far too long!"

"You _do_ realise we're in the middle of an emergency situation, don't you?" It was a challenge not to grit his teeth, but Yuki managed . . . somehow.

"That means it's the perfect time to do some brotherly bonding!" Ayame clasped his hands onto Yuki's shoulders. "There's nothing like adversity to bring people together!"

Yuki shrugged off his brother's hold. "Go talk to Shigure if you want to do some 'bonding.'" He started to walk off but felt a hesitant tug on his shirt. Looking down, he saw Kisa.

"Is Sissy here?" Kisa asked him.

Yuki tried to smile. "No, I'm sorry. Miss Honda had to stay home and do her homework—she's getting a little behind in class."

"I should've known that stupid girl would be failing her courses," Hiro said as he walked up to Kisa. "What do you need her for, anyway? You've got me."

"But you're not Sissy," Kisa told him.

"So? I'm better than your 'Sissy.'" Hiro folded his arms in emphasis.

Kyo's sensitive hearing picked up the insult to Tohru. Dislodging an excited Kagura--who had clung to him the instant he entered the room--with difficulty, he stomped over to Hiro. "Shut up, you stupid brat!"

"I don't think so. I can say what I want about her," Hiro said, deliberately making his voice extra calm to further inflame Kyo.

It worked. "Why you—!"

Shigure seized hold of Kyo's collar without batting an eye. "Kyo, Hiro, the meeting's starting. You can kill each other after our business is over, mmkay?"

Fuming, Kyo stalked over to a corner of the room and plunked himself onto the floor, where Kagura joined him, much to his disgust. Hiro wandered away, acting as though it was his idea to leave in the first place, and seated himself next to Kisa.

"Thank you all for coming," Akito said without raising his voice. It was still very effective; all Sohmas ceased chattering almost instantly. "Especially you, Yuki . . . such a pleasant surprise."

Yuki shivered slightly but said nothing, choosing to stare at his feet instead.

Akito wasted no further time baiting Yuki. "As you know, we Zodiac members are in the middle of a rather troublesome situation. It appears that many strange girls have appeared in the area recently and virtually all of them are aware of our secret. There are far too many for Hatori to mind-wipe—it would take years to make all of them forget. And by then, it may be too late."

"Um . . . how so?" Ritsu asked, shrivelling slightly as several people's eyes rested on him.

"They will spread the word," Akito answered. "There is no way girls with intelligence as low as theirs could possibly keep things a secret for more than a few days."

"I don't see what the problem is," Ayame said. "Except for one or two girls, I've hardly had _anyone_ visit." He pouted. "And it would have been so much fun to have people worshipping at my feet!"

"Hey, just a minute!" Kyo interrupted Ayame's disappointment. "How come Kureno and Rin didn't have to come and we did?"

"That brings me to my next point." Akito's eyelids fell slightly. "The whereabouts of both Kureno and Rin are unknown. However, there have been a large number of girls claiming to be either the Rooster or the Horse showing up around House Sohma."

"It seems as though the girls' appearance coincides approximately with the last time they were seen." Hatori's voice was emotionless.

Akito nodded slightly. "And there is another dimension to this problem. We seem to have many variations on the Zodiac amongst these girls as well."

Haru blinked. "I recall seeing several swans, wolves, and foxes recently."

"And I saw a real _dragon_ today!" Momiji added. "It was so neat! Only Ha'ri had to erase her mind and everyone who saw her. It took him a really long time."

"And then, of course, there is the matter of the 'Western Zodiac' and the 'Dark Zodiac,'" Akito said. Kyo could almost hear the quotation marks around the words that Akito spoke with venom.

"Well, if anything, these lovely yet irritating high school girls certainly are creative. Even if they all seem to be sharing a brain." Shigure fingered his chin for a moment. "I don't suppose these girls have been chasing you, have they, Akito?"

A slight smirk curved Akito's lips. "Why, yes, Shigure. They have."

"I guess they don't know everything, then, do they?" Shigure grinned.

"What're you talking about?" Kyo used an expletive. "Talk about something the rest of us can understand, already!"

"Very well. Hatori, explain your theory." Akito didn't even bother to look at his personal physician.

A knock outside the door sounded before Hatori began to speak.

Anger briefly crossed Akito's face at the insult of being interrupted. However, all he said was, "Enter."

Hesitantly, Tohru walked into the room. "I'm so very sorry to interrupt, but . . . the Mary-Sues were getting to be too much for me back at home, so I thought I'd come here. I'm really very sorry for intruding. . . . If I'm too much of a bother, I can go."

"Are you out of your mind?" Kyo shouted at her. "Stay, you idiot! I'm not going to let you get hurt by those stupid girls!"

Tohru cringed at his tone. "I'm sorry. . . ."

Kyo let out his breath in a rush and looked away. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled."

"Tohru, take a seat. Hatori was just about to explain his theory about the girls." Akito's voice held a tinge of near hatred to it, one that Tohru in her innocence did not pick up, but the others uncomfortably did.

Hatori gazed at each of the assembled group before speaking quietly. "I have been thinking quite hard about the appearance of these girls. I know it may well sound odd, but I can come up with no other explanation for their existence that makes sense. They seem to come from an alternate dimension, despite most of their claims of being from either this town or America. It makes me wonder if there is some limit to how many girls can cross over from their world to ours. Either they are finite, or there is a limited number of how many of these girls our world can accept. I tend to favour the latter theory, based on what we have seen of them to date."

"What will happen if too many come at once?" Kagura asked, cuddling up to Kyo for comfort.

Raising his voice above Kyo's yelps, Hatori answered, "I am not sure. However, I imagine the result will not be pleasant."

There was silence as the Sohmas considered Hatori's words. The sound of pounding footsteps broke it; all turned and looked to see a servant fling the door open and dash in.

"Akito, sir!" The man gasped for breath. "The girls have breached the wall and they're coming this way! We tried to hold them off, but there are just too many of them! And some of them have creepy powers—there's no way we can hold them off if a few of them are using _magic_!"

"Go back and defend the house." Akito's voice was cool. "You cannot allow them to come here."

"Right, sir!" The man turned and raced back through the door.

The faint sounds of shouting reached the group's ears. As it grew steadily louder, one by one, all save Akito rose to their feet, ready to defend themselves or die trying. Kyo and Yuki stood protectively in front of Tohru, each preparing a martial arts stance. Kagura looked as though she was trying to decide whether or not to cling to Kyo or kick some serious Sue butt, while Ritsu shrank inwards upon himself in a possible attempt to make himself disappear.

Through it all, even as the sounds of the Mary-Sues grew closer and closer, Akito sat dispassionately upon the floor. He didn't even look up as the door was flung open and shrieks and squeals cut through the still air. The first few girls began to spill into the chamber when . . .

. . . the room faded slowly to white, a soundless, intangible, all-encompassing absence of all. . . .

-----------

Tohru hummed to herself as she pinned up the laundry on the clothesline. It was a lovely, fresh fall weekend. The morning seemed to be like all others at Shigure's house—peaceful until the other three members of the household awoke. Then things got . . . chaotic.

Smiling, Tohru reached down into the laundry basket to pick up another piece of clothing. Shaking it out and enjoying the crisp sound it made, she pinned it up on the line. She looked up at the beautiful blue sky and felt the light, fresh wind on her face, completely happy.

------------

Sitting at her computer, the girl let out a groan. "Oh no! Stupid comp! Why'd you have to freeze up _now_?"

Muttering to herself, she rebooted the machine and searched for the document she needed. However. . . .

"What? _The New Girl_ is _gone_?" Frantically, she checked her Recycle Bin. Nothing. "And I was just about to have Kaze declare her love for Yuki, too! Ten chapters, allfor nothing! I must've spent at least four hours on the darn thing!"

She sat back in her chair and sighed in frustration. For a while, her attention wandered. Then an idea sprang into her head. With a satisfied smile, she pulled up a new document and started to type. . . .

_. . . And the scene was repeated hundreds of times, in hundreds of differing ways, all over the world. . . ._


End file.
